Have a question, concern or problem regarding your child's behaviors? Send me an email and I will do a blog post about it! You will always remain anonymous! tkmiller81002@yahoo.com

Monday, March 14, 2011


So the other day I was thinking about a comment made on my logical consequences post about it being hard to think about a misbehavior until it is happening and I thought how true is that! It is often hard for me to sit down and think of all the ways my kids misbehaved throughout the day, often all I can think about are the funny or good things they did throughout the day. So I am going to give you and myself an assignment with a promise of great reward.

In order for this blog to be as effective as I want it to be I want to be able to use experiences of my readers and address issues that they are concerned with. So here is what I want from you: Watch your kids throughout the day and write down 3 or more things your kids did to "misbehave" or that was something you are frustrated/concerned with. Even if you already know how to handle the situation write it down, because one of my readers might be struggling with the same thing. It can be anything from your child hitting to your child refusing to read out loud. Then leave a comment listing the things your child did and for each issue you post you will be entered into a drawing for my favorite parenting book Active Parenting Now and is the book I go to the most for answers on how to help my own kids. Share this link on facebook (the little button on the bottom of this post) and leave a comment saying you shared this post and you will receive 2 extra entries (but you also have to post a concern/misbehavior).  I will announce the winner on Friday morning!!


  1. 1 - Ok, my biggest problem right now is that E doesn't listen. That's how she misbehaves. So she waits for me to ask her to do things and I have to ask 4 times and then she dies when I get my bossy voice out cuz I'm mean. I think I should be able to ask and get a response - but should I give the consequence immediately the first time I ask so I don't sound like a broken record?

    2 - Fighting getting ready for school early in the morning

    3 - Not going to bed and demanding cuddles cuz daddy gives cuddles in bed to get her to sleep but mom doesn't - about an hour later of crying and yelling at me she finally fell asleep after us ignoring her. This brings up getting parents on the same page, but D just feels like I'm bossing and telling him how to do things and he thinks he should be able to decide how he wants to do it.

    Do those 3 work? Cuz I really want your book! :-)

  2. Just FYI on most of your poll questions my answer is "A Mixture of Two of the Above Options". I use timeouts for one or two things and consequences for the rest :-) Before on the parenting styles one I wanted to say I was a dictator sometimes but a good parent the rest. I'm never all one answer! :-)

  3. Kris that is exactly what I was looking for, and it is perfect because I was planning on doing posts about those issues already!

    As for E not listening I would give the consequence right away and also reinforce to her that when she chooses not listen to your words and make a choice then you will make the choice for her. Not listening is something my kids have learned is not tolerated in our house because it is disrespectful and we are all about respecting each other. You might also want to talk to E and tell her that when she chooses not to listen to you feel disrespected and like she doesn't care about you, express to her your feelings and see if that makes any difference.

    As for the poll I will make more options where you can be a combo of the two :)

  4. Okay Kim, Here are my three.

    #1 Both M and J. they are lying to get out of trouble, they think that if we don't know for sure, or if they can sneek it, they can get away with what ever they were doing. (some times they have gotten away with mischief because we are not with them all the time.)

    #2 D is interesting. He will sometimes help out with chores or eat really well and be so happy about it. Then sometimes he has to get exactly what he wants before he will do what you want him to. this usually had to do with food. example. for breakfast he wants a string cheese, and refuses to eat anything else until he gets that string cheese, I want him to have cereal first and then he can have something else, because if he gets what he wants (which is usually a snack food) he will say he is full and not eat regular, more nutritious food.

    #3 ok, this isn't really a behavior problem with the kids, but I would like your suggestion. when my kids misbehave ie..hit or push usually something physical, I feel pressured to punish my child the way the parents of the "injured" child would punish. I also feel that if it isn't the way they would do it, the punishment wasn't the "enough" or "the right way" to take care of it.

  5. Amazon_mom thanks for posting, I will definitely do a psy dealing with these issues, but for now I would say that in regards to lying a majority of getting kids to stop lying is how you react to it. It is a developmental stage that ALL kids go through and the best easy to nip it in the bud is to make a big deal about when they are honest. My kids know that if they are honest the consequence is way less severe than if they lie abou it, so ur is worth it to them to be honest.

    As for d I know how stubborn he can be and the trick with him it's you have to be more stubborn. String cheese is not an option for breakfast and be a broken record and when he goes into shut down mode ignore it EVERY TIME and it will louder it's effectiveness.

    As for punishing your kids when they hurt others that is a tough one because no parent wants their kid to get hurt and when they don't feel like "justice" is served then it makes it worse. I had an issue with this a while back with my kids during hurt and the mom and I had to agree on how the behavior was handled, but there were times when I didn't want my kid to play with the mean kid so we didn't. as a parent it is up to you on how you discipline your child, but be aware that if your child is constantly hurting others then maybe you need to have a harder punishment. I will do a full post on hitting but I hope that helps for now.

  6. Wow sorry for all the typos, I posted from my phone, I will recomment from a computer!


Please be aware that I reserve the right to delete any comment that I feel is offensive to myself or other readers - we are all trying to be the best we can and we must respect each others opinions. You can disagree just don't be rude.