Have you ever said "I am the boss of my house" or what about "What I say goes" or "My kids will behave"? Do you find yourself constantly yelling and spanking your kids? If so you are using the authoritarian parenting style. Some examples of this parenting style are:
- Mom makes pancakes for breakfast and Annie doesn't want to eat pancakes for breakfast. Mom tells Annie, you will eat your pancakes and you will not leave this table until every last bite is finished even if it takes all morning.
- Annie makes a mess in the living room and leaves it. Mom wants Annie to clean her mess and when Annie refuses mom yells, spanks, grounds, or physically makes Annie pick up her mess.
- Annie doesn't want to go to bed and keeps coming out of her room, mom yells at Annie, Annie keeps coming out and mom spanks Annie, and tells her she will go to be right this minute.
These children tend to:
- Have low self-esteem
- Don't think for themselves - they either conform or become defiant
- Have poor social relationships
- Are not truly happy
- Are not high achievers
- Are followers
- Become rebellious teenagers
If you are unsure if this is you as a parent ask yourself if you have ever said or done the following:
"Because I'm the parent and I said so!"
"As long as you live under my house, you will obey my rules"
"When you are the parent, you can decide what to do"
Have you ever picked out your teenagers clothes?
Are you angry or yelling often at your kids?
Do you ground or punish your older (ten and above) children?
If you answered yes to a majority of the above you are an authoritarian parent. Still unsure? Ask your kids who is the boss and if they say you/ your spouse then you or your spouse is an authoritarian parent!