Right now I am in a pretty nasty mood, I am tired, I am frustrated with my husband, I am just grumpy. I normally have one day of postpartum depression and well today is it and after four kids I know that for me the only 2 ways to get myself out of a nasty funk are 1 take a hot bath and 2 to focus on all of the good things in my life. I can't have a hot bath for 4 more weeks so that option is out. However, I am a firm believer in the power of the mind and if I sit and wallow in my (completely justifiable by the way) misery then I will continue to be miserable, but if I choose to focus on the positives then I become a more positive person.
(DISCLAIMER: postpartum depression is incredibly serious, and if you struggle with any type of depression I strongly encourage you to seek medical advice because depression is very real and can mess up a lot of lives if it isn't treated, I just know myself very well, and know what works for me).
As I was cleaning up after putting the kids to bed I was thinking about how miserable my day was (my husband was gone pretty much all day knowing I was exhausted from the lack of sleep I had last night, and he did things today that I would've appreciated him not doing) I finally stopped and thought, get a grip Kim, this is what life is going to be like when he goes back to work, so you better figure out how to handle it (the difference is he has no choice but to go to work, whereas today was completely optional). Anyways, I realized that today was the first day since N was born that I didn't spend a good chunk of the day holding her in my arms, so that is where I am going to start my list of things I am thankful for.
These are not in order of importance, just as they come to me.
1. I am thankful to have a newborn daughter who completes our family, who is healthy, happy, and truly the definition of perfection.
2. I am thankful to have three other children, who all bring such different elements to our family, who are unique and perfect in their own special ways.
3. I am thankful for the blessing it is to be a mother, to be able to carry a child in my womb, and bring them into the world, I know a lot of women who would give anything to have that blessing and it isn't one I take lightly.
4. I am grateful to be married to my prince charming, even if he turns into a toad every now and then, he is my perfect match and I am grateful to be his wife for eternity.
5. I am thankful for friends who I can call and text and complain and they make me laugh! I have some amazing friends and am thankful for everything they do for me.
6. I am thankful to have a home that is large enough for my family and that I can afford.
7. I am thankful that I can be a stay at home mom, it is not something a lot of women can do and I know I am blessed to be able to do that.
8. I am thankful for the blessing it is to have a highly intelligent daughter that could run our house if needed to. Tonight she drew a bath for herself, gt pjs for her brothers, read them a bedtime story while I was calming down a fussy baby, and is just an amazing helper. I hope I never take advantage of her willingness to help!
9. I am thankful for the Savior and that I can always lean on him when I am too weak to stand on my own.
10. I am thankful for the opportunity I have to raise God's children and teach them about Him and His Son in not only my words but also my actions.
What are you thankful for? What helps you get out of a nasty funk?
I'm grateful to be a mother, period! Every day I wake up cuddling with my little bug is a miracle!
ReplyDeleteps I have a question, apparently Ellie is super shy at school and timid (ie not confident or thinking she can do hard things) I think this is a result of being an only that mommy just helps out with more things because she can. For example, don't have 3 other kids so I can help her get ready for bed. So I asked her K tchr for feedback of 1 thing I can work on and she said she needs more confidence.
How do you teach that. My only idea is to teach her to do hard things so she can realize she can do hard things. . .
Confidence is incredibly hard to teach, but with a lot of effort it is possible. I have a hand out from one of my college courses on teaching self esteem that I will post on here, but for now I would say definitely teach her to do hard things and encourage her while she is doing them. Rozan mentioned you were reading a book about encouraging vs. praise and definitely focus more on encouraging her than praising her.
ReplyDeleteAlso, the thing with E is that her temperament is one that makes her seem more shy, and that is something that is ingrained in her personality so while she may gain more confidence she may still be shy because she has a slow to warm up - difficult temperament. She isn't like M who the minute we get to the park walks up to every kid she sees and asks if they want to play, she is more like J who is content doing her own thing and being on her own, I can't tell you how many times J will go into his room to be alone when we have other kids over. For J there are times that I allow him the indulgence of being on his own and others that I don't. I will do a post on this tomorrow I have been thinking a lot about this since I saw your comment and there are a lot of factors that go into this.
Ellie is so situational about when she is social - her best friends neighbors she is already comfortable with she hardly ever turns down a playdate, but she is really good at being a loner, too - which I also love because her creativity/imagination goes on overdrive . . . I am hoping when she gets into first grade and gets into a routine (every day at school instead of 2-3 times a week) she will adapt easier. But she is REALLY slow to adapt. One of the reasons I'm scared to move!
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